Question: I am 18 years old and have been struggling with my sexuality for a while now. Since I was around 13/14 years old I began to find guys attractive, but I knew that such actions were haram and therefore never acted on these thoughts. I also found girls attractive as well – therefore the thought of getting married didn’t worry me. However for the past year I have begun to develop an overwhelming sense of worry that maybe I am not attracted to women and that thought fills me with dread. I am worried that I wont be able to have a happy future with my future wife and children as this is the one thing that I want more than anything in this life. I never have nor intend to have any sort of relationship with a man but I am unsure of what to do – should I tell my future wife that I am bisexual? Should I tell my mum or any other family member?
Bismillah wal Hamdulillah was-Salatu was-Salam Ala Rasulillah
May Allah reward you for fighting temptations and for taking the courage to write. May Allah give you the strength to stay on the Straight Path and follow the best advice.
1. Stay away form pornography. It is one the best things you can do for the health of your heart.
2. Stay away from any situations or people that increase your haram desire.
3. I would not be quick to take the ‘bisexual’ label so quickly.
4. Alhamdulillah, you do find women attractive, so that’s great news 🙂
5. You need to take it easy and don’t get anxious. Recite the Quran, surround yourself with righteous company, and pray a lot. Develop coping techniques for dealing with anxiety.
6. Only Allah knows what lies in your future and if you will be happy. You must know that Allah does not abandon those who give up something for His sake.
7. Focus on your salah, studies, work, and exercise. An empty mind is devil’s playground. Fill your time with what is beneficial. Get married when you are financially and emotionally prepared.
And Allah knows best.