Khutba Summaries

Friendship in Islam

Friendship 101
  • Sociologists tell us that man, by nature, is a social creature
  • Arabic word for human being insaan, is derived from uns, means that human beings need companionship
  • Insaan cannot live by himself, needs interaction and companionship
  • Different levels of social interaction:
    • some beyond our control (family, parents, and siblings)
    • others we control (spouse)
    • some we just have to get by with: co-workers, classmates, and neighbors; we don’t get to choose them neither are we forced to have them
  • Today’s khutba is about interaction with those you genuinely want to socialize with, i.e., your friends
  • Part of our religion is to analyze whom we choose to be our friends. Prophet ﷺ said,

‘The example of the righteous friend and an unrighteous friend is that of a seller of perfume and a blacksmith (he is always with the fire, coals, and flame). As for the seller of perfume, either he will give you a gift, or you will purchase from him the perfume, or, at the very least, you will get a good smell form him. As for the blacksmith, if you get too close, he will burn you. Even if you don’t, you will get nothing, but bad smell from him, the smell of soot and burning.’ (Bukhari, Muslim)

  • Hadith tells us what happens when you hang around good people and what happens when you hang around bad people
  • A good person benefits you in many ways:
    • He will gift you. It can be a literal gift or it can be a gift of wisdom, knowledge, Quran and hadith, a gift of reminding you to be a better person
    • You will interact with him, deal with money, and transaction. What better person to deal with money than someone you can trust!
    • Merely being in his company is refreshing and beneficial
  • A bad friend will drag you down to his level; will burn you through his sins, drugs, alcohol, dirty jokes, foul language, and backbiting
  • Even if you do not get to his level, what benefit did you get from his company?
  • Our Prophet ﷺ told us that the Shaitan comes to a person who is all alone, and he is further away when a person is with a righteous person
  • Socializing with righteous people is better than sitting alone and doing nothing
  • You won’t be tempted if you are with righteous people
  • Keeping good company has many benefits:
    • Good company reminds you of what is beneficial, makes our hearts stronger.
    • When all your friends are smokers, you are the only one who does not, it is human nature that you will slip, it is a matter of time before you become begin to smoke
    • Around the righteous, you do not open yourself to temptations. That is why, Allah commanded even our Nabi ﷺ to keep righteous company (Surah al-Kahf 18:28)
    • They are more likely to give you solid advice, either directly from the Quran or Sunna or common sense advice
    • It solidifies Islamic brotherhood which in itself brings tremendous benefits like political stability in the Umma
  • A good friend has three characteristics:
    • solid religion: so evil is avoided, a friend should not drag you down to Jahannum
    • common sense and good intellect: even if he is not a scholar, he is praying, and fasting, and not doing major sins, you can share in his wisdom and benefit from his life experiences
    • akhlaq and mannerisms: good social company that you can enjoy, have halal fun and laughter
  • No one is saying make friends only with the ulama, but at least don’t make friends with a drunkard, with fasiqs and fajirs who will drag you to Jahannum!
  • Halal fun is fine, Nabi ﷺ heard poetry, he made halal jokes with Sahaba
  • Souls that have a connection will bind into a friendship and souls that don’t have a connection won’t form that bond
  • A good friend can take you to the highest levels of Janna and a bad friend can take you to the depths of Jahannum. We learn this form the Quran and Sunna:
    • Look at Abu Bakr as-Siddiq. He was a close friend of Nabi ﷺ before Islam. After the Quran was revealed, his friendship benefited him and took him to the highest level of Janna
    • Allah say in the Quran will happen to those who pay no attention to who they befriend: A sinner will bite his hands and say woe to me why did I not follow the Prophet and woe to me, why did I befriend so-and-so? This friend of mine was the one who misguided me after the truth came to me. (25:27-28)

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