Question: My husband wants me to give him account of everything I buy, like food receipts, with the money he gives me every month. Until then, he won’t give anymore money until I have given him a complete rundown of all of the grocery if the shop has not given a receipt then I have to write it down and add it up with the rest of the the receipt. If I tell him to get something or he buys for example a chocolate for us he will tell me that I owe him a pound. Please tell me, is it my duty to do this? Alhamdolillah he has a good job. Everything else, like clothes, and shoes, I have to ask him for and tell him how much it is for. He never says, ‘here, I’ll give you extra if you want to buy anything’. Sometimes I feel like I am always begging him to give me money. Please help.
Bismillah wal Hamdulillah was Salatu was Salam Ala Rasulillah.
We are sorry to hear about the problems you are having. Please understand that without listening to both sides it is difficult to give good advise.
Here are some general thoughts:
1. A husband is responsible to financially provide for his wife and children according to his means. From what you have written, it seems that he does give you some money every month, but only requires a rundown of where the money was spent when you need more.
2. If the money he gives is not enough, keep track of expenses for one or two months, then sit down and discuss it with him, and show him why he needs to increase the money for household expenses.
3. You may consider using some smart phone apps to help you keep track of the spending or use a bank card that will automatically list where the money was spent.
4. It might be a good idea to separate household expenses from your personal expenses. Request that he gives you a monthly set amount for your personal needs like clothing, shoes, etc. that you are free to spend.
5. If you can not come to an agreement on financial matters, please consult a knowledgeable imam/scholar for advice.
Please remind him that the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives.” (Ibn Majah). Please remind him gently and wisely of these words of the Prophet ﷺ. Also, tell him that the imam said not to ask for a pound when buying chocolate and other treats and not to say ‘you owe me’ for those things. A husband should treat his wife well and not remind her of small favors 🙂
May Allah help you both resolve these matters in a manner that is pleasing to Him.
And Allah knows best.
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